What should I do about my boyfriend?

Question

My boyfriend and I are both uni students and started dating almost 2 years ago. I've noticed for a while that I do most of the housework, planning dates, and surprising him with stuff like that. If I ask him to do something it will take him days to do it, even if it's something simple as taking out the garbage. He never plans to do fun things with me, like dinners or even chill on the couch, I am always the one trying to almost force him. He will always have an excuse, usually, it's studying. That's fine but why can't he take 30 min out of his day to hang out with me or 1 hour out of his week to go on a date (this does include our anniversary, valentines, etc) even though I'm also a full-time student and I also have a job and he doesn't but yet I still find the time to keep my stuff clean and plan this stuff. When he's stressed he also lashes out at home (verbally). Which scares me. He's broken up with me once before. He also has the mentality that what he remembers is always right and that I'm wrong 100%. The one thing that he does say when he gets upset is I'm your boyfriend not your therapist when I open up to him about what's going on in my life because when he asks me about what's bothering me I'm truthful he just rather not hear the negatives. I don't feel like his priority I've tried talking to him and he just gets upset and says that I'm accusing him of being lazy. I really love him and don't want to leave.

Answer 1

It sounds like you are putting a lot of effort into the relationship and not getting much in return. It's important for both partners to contribute equally to the relationship and support each other emotionally. It's not fair for you to always be the one doing the housework, planning dates, and trying to spend time together.

Additionally, it's concerning that he lashes out verbally when he's stressed and that he has broken up with you before. It's not healthy for a partner to use verbal abuse as a way to cope with stress.

It's important to communicate your concerns with your boyfriend and express how you feel about the relationship. If he is unwilling to listen or work on the issues, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship and consider if it is healthy for you. Remember that a healthy relationship involves mutual respect, trust, and communication.